March 17, 2003
Good Byes Aboard

Yesterday we bid farewell to Bill, and it seems Curt and I hadn't seen each other in ages. For the first time in weeks, we sat down to read email, to catch-up on our respective friends' and families' news with each other, and to think more seriously about what happens in the coming months. It reminds me that in the fluidity of our life afloat, I still feel like a fish out of water. As I sit here on Force Five at anchor in Vieques, I can't help but feel stuck between two worlds and not really part of either.

In reading emails from California, I find that life at home has gone on without us. Whatever space we left behind when we set sail last April has nearly all but closed up. Friends email less, but what I hear when they do write is that there are new boyfriends we've never met, babies that have been born we haven't seen, new houses we have yet to help warm. And here in the Caribbean, our fluid home, we've made friends that have sailed along with us, and then gone on- sailing off with no certainty of if and when we may see them again. Just a few days ago, we waved good bye to Second Kiss from the stern of our boat: certain not to see them again in the Caribbean- but hoping to catch up with them on their visit to California this summer. In a bay that felt like home with these friends anchored as neighbors at our side, it now felt like a strange place: Emptier beyond the physical space they left behind. For cruisers, it is a way of life, I know. And perhaps at least one part of this life that I will never grow accustomed to. The good byes are too many, and the only thing certain- is the uncertainty. This is one aspect of life onboard I know I will never miss... unlike the friends we bid farewell to.

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